Why Avoiding Your Emotions Makes Them Stronger
Have you ever tried to make yourself stop thinking about something uncomfortable? Or suddenly found yourself cleaning the bathroom instead of starting the work task you’re stressed out about? If you answered yes to these questions, you’re like most of us. Humans are hard-wired to maximize pleasure and minimize pain, so it makes sense that our first instinct would be to avoid negative or uncomfortable experiences, emotions included. Unfortunately, that approach to dealing with our emotions and the situations that provoke them tends to backfire. The Paradox of Avoidance: See for Yourself Let me illustrate this for you with an exercise. Bring to mind an embarrassing or cringe memory that you’d prefer not to think about. For me, this would be the time I walked around my college campus with staticky underwear (clean, at least) clinging to the back of my pants (my face is getting hot just typing this). Once you’ve got the memory locked in, set a timer for 60 seconds, and don’t let yourself think about it until the timer goes off. …
