All posts tagged: child behaviour

How To Effectively Say ‘No’ To Kids – And Why You Should

How To Effectively Say ‘No’ To Kids – And Why You Should

Published by Sam Flores

Saying “no” to our kids is an important part of parenting – but experts believe some children aren’t hearing the word enough. If at all. Amongst claims of a “burgeoning crisis of behaviour and safety” in schools, the government’s behaviour tsar has suggested some parents aren’t saying “no” to their kids enough. Tom Bennett, the Department for Education’s ambassador for attendance and behaviour, told The Times: “Some parents have very weak boundaries with their own children. They allow them to be on their iPads and phones all day and think that that’s loving and caring because that’s what they want and ‘it’s making my child happy’. “Schools are saying, no, we are going to do it like this and that parenting gap is where a lot of this comes from. Parents and schools have moved in different directions.” In spring 2024/25, school suspensions and the number of permanent exclusions increased compared to the year before. Persistent disruptive behaviour was cited as the most common reason for suspension. Many blame ‘gentle parenting’ for this shift – …

Child With ADHD Being Rude Or Aggressive – Parenting Tips

Child With ADHD Being Rude Or Aggressive – Parenting Tips

Published by Sam Flores

As both a mum and a therapist, I’ve seen it all. I’ve been on the receiving end of eye-rolls, sarcastic remarks, and shouting (my own child has ADHD). I’ve also supported parent clients whose children have lashed out physically. And let me tell you, the shame that comes with it can feel almost as overwhelming as the behaviour itself. It’s something I’m sure some parents reading this have experienced, as well as those judgemental and even worried looks or comments from other adults. But you are not a bad parent, and these are not bad kids. Rudeness and ADHD (as well as other neurodivergent profiles) often go hand-in-hand. It is not a reflection of your child’s character, nor of your parenting. It stems from differences in impulse control and emotional regulation, and it can show up as a fight-or-flight response – sometimes in words, sometimes in actions, and sometimes in full-blown physical aggression. Understanding the ADHD brain Think of the brain’s amygdala as a yappy little Chihuahua – the guard dog of our nervous system. …

The Viral ‘Jessica’ Toddler Tantrum Hack Is Not A Long-Term Parenting Fix

The Viral ‘Jessica’ Toddler Tantrum Hack Is Not A Long-Term Parenting Fix

Published by Sam Flores

Parents are attempting to halt toddler tantrums by asking their children about a made-up person called “Jessica”. The distraction technique seems to work, too. In one clip shared on TikTok, a father is buckling his crying child into a car seat and says: “Jessica, come here.” “Are you going to stop crying? Because Jessica is coming. You want Jessica to come?” he asks his son, who promptly stops crying and looks around. In another clip, a crying toddler runs towards their caregiver, who calls out: “Jessica. Jessica. Where are you, Jessica?” Again, the toddler stops crying and looks around, wide-eyed. Dr Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist, certainly understands the appeal to parents of young children. Who wouldn’t want a magic ‘pause’ button to stop those mid-supermarket-shop meltdowns? But the expert warns it’s not an effective long-term solution for helping children navigate big emotions. Why calling out for ‘Jessica’ stops toddler tantrums It’s basically a form of distraction. “It can work initially because young children are highly responsive to novelty, unexpected input, and …

What Is ‘Positive Discipline’? Tips For Parents, From Therapists

What Is ‘Positive Discipline’? Tips For Parents, From Therapists

Published by Sam Flores

Parenting is a real rollercoaster – and one area plenty of parents (myself included) often find tricky is figuring out how on earth to successfully discipline kids. After all, they will often push boundaries and buttons (especially the younger ones) and increasingly, we know that shouting and throwing our proverbial toys out of the pram isn’t going to help solve the problem. Nor will taking their toys or privileges away in a knee-jerk, frustration-fuelled reaction. People are increasingly rethinking how they parent, according to Pinterest’s latest parenting trends report – and interestingly, the platform has witnessed a 295% increase in searches for ‘positive discipline’. What is positive discipline? Per Unicef, positive discipline is “a method of teaching appropriate behaviour by interacting with children in a kind but firm manner”. It’s about setting clear expectations, focusing on rewarding correct behaviour, correcting misbehaviour when it occurs, being respectful and non-violent, and providing logical consequences. On the latter note, The Welsh government suggests parents should try to give positive consequences for their child’s positive behaviour more often than …

Should You Take A Child’s Toys Or Privileges Away As Punishment?

Should You Take A Child’s Toys Or Privileges Away As Punishment?

Published by Sam Flores

Many of us have been there: your child isn’t doing as they’re told, you need to rush them out of the door so you can get to childcare and work on time, and you’re about to boil over. They’ve launched their shoes in a huff, a sibling has been shoved, whatever it is, you’ve issued those fateful words: “Right, no TV until tomorrow!” If they’re younger, and they’ve thrown a toy, you might even threaten to take it away for the next few hours. The words are out – and there’s no going back. You have to see it through. If you’re lucky, your child caves, puts their shoes on, and stomps out of the door. But how effective is removing toys or taking certain privileges away in teaching children a lesson? Why taking away toys or privileges as punishment might not have the desired effect While this kind of punishment can sometimes stop behaviour in the short term, psychotherapist Anna Mathur told HuffPost UK “it rarely teaches children what to do instead”. Taking toys …