All posts tagged: attachment

Childhood trauma and attachment styles show nuanced links to alternative sexual preferences

Childhood trauma and attachment styles show nuanced links to alternative sexual preferences

A recent study explores the relationships between past traumatic experiences, how people connect with others emotionally, and their roles in consensual power exchange or pain play during sex. The research indicates that a history of sexual abuse in childhood and certain insecure emotional patterns are related to whether someone prefers submissive or dominant sexual roles. These initial results were published in the journal Behavioral Sciences. To understand these connections, it helps to examine the framework surrounding bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism. This collection of acts is commonly known by its initialism, BDSM. The practice involves consensual power exchanges and the erotic expression of physical sensations, which can include the receipt or delivery of pain. These behaviors typically feature three primary roles. A dominant partner takes control, a submissive partner relinquishes control, and a “switch” alternates between the two positions depending on the scenario. Consent is a foundational requirement, distinguishing these behaviors entirely from violence or assault. Communities centered around these practices often rely on established safety frameworks, such as the strict principle of safe, …

Parents Want To Set Boundaries With Their Crying Infant

Parents Want To Set Boundaries With Their Crying Infant

Okay, it’s official: There is such a thing as too much therapy. A pair of new parents have taken to the internet in search of advice on how to “set boundaries” with their infant, who cries incessantly whenever he wants something. For decades, we all suffered under the collective lack of knowledge about psychology and mental health terminology. Now, we seem to have swung the pendulum much too far in the other direction. To the extent that we are trying to do boundary-setting with infants. Help. New parents asked how to ‘set boundaries’ with their baby who won’t stop crying. Prostock-studio | Shutterstock Now, in fairness to these new parents, nothing about babies is easy, and much of it isn’t particularly intuitive. And that’s before we even delve into the impacts of having to listen to an infant shriek all day and then keep you up all night, too. But these parents seem to really fundamentally misunderstand what they signed up for, seemingly viewing their relationship with their infant as more like, say, co-workers than, …

The cruel experiment that explains Punch the Monkey’s attachment to a plushie

The cruel experiment that explains Punch the Monkey’s attachment to a plushie

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more A baby macaque monkey named Punch has gone viral for his heart-wrenching pursuit of companionship. After being abandoned by his mother and rejected by the rest of his troop, his zookeepers at Ichikawa City Zoo in Japan provided Punch with an orangutan plushie as a stand-in mother. Videos of the monkey clinging to the toy have gone viral worldwide. But Punch’s attachment to his inanimate companion is not just the subject of a heartbreaking video. It also harks back to the story of a famous set of psychology experiments conducted in the 1950s by US researcher Harry Harlow. The findings from his experiments underpin many of the central tenets of attachment theory, which positions the bond between parent and child as crucial in child …

Most Men Get Easily Attached To Women Who Do These 11 Subtle Things In Conversation

Most Men Get Easily Attached To Women Who Do These 11 Subtle Things In Conversation

Attachment doesn’t usually happen because of grand romantic gestures. More often, it forms through repeated, subtle moments that create both emotional safety and interest. Conversation is one of the fastest ways to connect, either deepens or fades. Tone, timing, and presence matter more than rehearsed lines ever could. Feeling seen and emotionally understood increases attachment intensity. When someone feels both accepted and slightly challenged in conversation, the brain tends to register that interaction as meaningful. It’s not about performance. It’s about how a woman makes a man feel when he’s talking. And certain conversational habits tend to strengthen attachment without anyone consciously trying to do so. Most men get easily attached to women who do these 11 subtle things in conversation 1. They ask follow-up questions that show they were really listening DavideAngelini / Shutterstock There’s a big difference between polite nodding and active engagement. When a woman remembers details and circles back to them later, it signals attention. Men often bond when they feel respected and heard. Follow-up questions communicate that what he said …

Who lives a good single life? New data highlights the role of autonomy and attachment

Who lives a good single life? New data highlights the role of autonomy and attachment

A new study published in the journal Personal Relationships suggests that single people who feel their basic psychological needs are met tend to experience higher life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms. The findings indicate that beyond these universal needs, having a secure attachment style and viewing singlehood as a personal choice rather than a result of external barriers are significant predictors of a satisfying single life. The number of single adults has increased significantly in recent years, prompting psychologists to investigate what factors contribute to a high quality of life for this demographic. Historically, relationship research has focused heavily on the dynamics of couples, often treating singlehood merely as a transitional stage or a deficit. When researchers did study singles, they typically categorized them simply as those who chose to be single versus those who did not. This binary perspective fails to capture the complexity of the single experience. The researchers behind the new study sought to understand the specific psychological characteristics that explain why some individuals thrive in singlehood while others struggle. By examining …

Your attachment style predicts which activities boost romantic satisfaction

Your attachment style predicts which activities boost romantic satisfaction

New research provides evidence that the best way to spend time with a romantic partner depends on their specific emotional needs. A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that people with avoidant attachment styles feel more satisfied when engaging in novel and exciting activities, while those with anxious attachment styles benefit more from familiar and comfortable shared experiences. Psychological science identifies attachment insecurity as a significant barrier to relationship satisfaction. Individuals high in attachment avoidance often fear intimacy and prioritize independence, while those high in attachment anxiety fear abandonment and frequently seek reassurance. Previous studies have shown that partners can mitigate these insecurities by adjusting their behavior, such as offering autonomy to avoidant partners or reassurance to anxious ones. However, less is known about how specific types of shared leisure activities function in this dynamic. “This study was motivated by two main gaps. One was a gap in the attachment literature. Although attachment insecurity reliably predicts lower relationship satisfaction, these effects can be buffered, and most prior work has focused on partner …

Why You Bond With Some People And Not Others Isn’t Random: 6 Insights From A Clinical Psychologist

Why You Bond With Some People And Not Others Isn’t Random: 6 Insights From A Clinical Psychologist

Most people don’t realize that attachment theory is a lot deeper than whether you’re the pursuer or distancer, although that framework is certainly useful to start with. Attachment theory is a fascinating field of research that started in the 1960’s.  For the first time, psychologists recognized that the way our parent/primary caregiver interacts with us when we are young determines how we will interact within relationships for the rest of our lives.  Here are six psychological insights about why you bond with some people and not others:  1. Attachment styles aren’t fixed for life You can move from insecure to secure based on how much work you’ve done on yourself. This is a result of therapy for many, a point which I discuss more in depth in the last point in this post.  Also, a happy and loving relationship can “reparent” you, meaning that you and your partner can grow more securely attached over time, as you grow closer and learn to rely on each other more and more. This interdependence can be very healing for …

Andrew Huberman explains attachment and desire

Andrew Huberman explains attachment and desire

PsyPost’s PodWatch highlights interesting clips from recent podcasts related to psychology and neuroscience. In a recent episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, released on Thursday, February 12, Dr. Andrew Huberman explores the biological and psychological roots of human connection. The episode, titled “Essentials: The Science of Love, Desire & Attachment,” examines how early life experiences and specific brain functions create the feelings of romance. Huberman breaks down the complex science behind why humans bond with certain people and how relationships either succeed or fail over time. During the first five minutes of the broadcast, Huberman explains that adult romantic styles often mirror the emotional bond a person had with their caregivers as a toddler. He references the famous “Strange Situation Task” developed by psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1980s. In this experiment, researchers observed how children reacted when their parents left a room and subsequently returned. Based on these reactions, researchers categorized children into groups such as securely attached or anxious-avoidant. Huberman notes that these early classifications are strong predictors of how individuals will behave …

Eddie Murphy Eva Longoria Comedy Attachment Parenting Amazon MGM

Eddie Murphy Eva Longoria Comedy Attachment Parenting Amazon MGM

Eddie Murphy and Eva Longoria have teamed up to star in Attachment Parenting, a comedy newly set up at Amazon MGM. The company has preemptively picked up the short story by Julianna Baggott from Davis Entertainment and Eddie Murphy Productions. Murphy and Longoria are attached to produce on top of starring via their respective companies along with veteran John Davis of Davis Entertainment, who is in the awards race this year with the feel-good Kate Hudson drama Song Sung Blue. The new project is a reunion for the three, who worked together on last year’s Amazon’s Murphy-starring action comedy, The Pickup. Eddie Murphy Productions’ Charisse Hewitt-Webster will also produce, as will Jade Miranda of Hyphenate, the media company run by Longoria, its CCO, and CEO Cris Abrego. With a vibe that throws back to another era of studio comedies, the project tells of a psychologist couple whose parenting philosophy is put to the ultimate test when they’re forced to counsel a crime boss’s dysfunctional family while being held hostage at a hotel. The project is …

Attachment anxiety shapes how emotions interfere with self-control

Attachment anxiety shapes how emotions interfere with self-control

Attachment anxiety shapes how people handle emotional conflict, and brief reminders of security or threat can shift that balance, according to research published in Cognition & Emotion. Everyday life requires us to focus on what matters while ignoring emotionally distracting information; this is known as emotional conflict control. Previous research shows that people differ in how well they manage this kind of emotional interference, and attachment theory suggests that these differences may stem from how secure or insecure people feel in close relationships. Individuals with anxious attachment, for example, tend to be highly sensitive to emotional cues, whereas avoidantly attached individuals often suppress emotional information in favor of control. Drawing on the functional neuro-anatomical model of attachment, Mengke Zhang and colleagues conducted two experiments to examine how attachment styles and short-term attachment “priming” experiences relate to emotional conflict control. In Experiment 1, 225 Chinese undergraduate students completed the Experiences in Close Relationships questionnaire, which assesses two core dimensions of adult attachment, including attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Participants then completed an emotional face-word Stroop task …