We throw around the words sociopath and narcissist casually, often to describe an ex who ghosted after three months or someone who always has to be the center of attention. Often, individuals with these traits present as charismatic, magnetic, charming, and intense, at least at first (Hare, 1999). These terms typically align with traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder: chronic lack of empathy, manipulativeness, deceit, impulsivity, grandiosity, and disregard for others’ rights. In Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley, Tom’s charm makes him disarmingly likable, even as his behavior grows darker: “If you wanted to be cheerful, or melancholic, or wistful, or thoughtful, or courteous, you simply had to act those things with every gesture.” Not everyone who lies, cheats, or behaves selfishly meets diagnostic criteria. But when there is a pervasive pattern of manipulation, lack of remorse, and inability to take accountability, it may point to something more serious. Below are signs you might not just be dating someone “emotionally unavailable,” but someone operating without empathy or conscience. 1. It Starts …