Donor Conception Openness: What’s Important
Donor conception research has helped confirm what many already knew and what was learned from the world of adoption: telling your child about their origins is important. It is also important to speak with them early and often so they can gradually absorb the words, concepts, and information into their psyche, so it becomes a natural part of their identity. Children who were adopted in the 1960s and 1970s were often very unhappy about the shame and secrecy surrounding adoption. Adoption agencies often told parents “not to tell” or at least not to share any details about their child’s birth parents. These adult children later shared that having this information kept from them led to identity confusion, distrust, and sometimes anger toward their parents. Unfortunately, we learned the same lesson a second time as we witnessed donor-conceived individuals share similar feelings. Yet it is a bit different now. Unlike adoptive parents in the ’60s and ‘70s, more parents-to-be are single or openly LGBTQIA+. These parents typically shared more with their children, and so fairly early …
