This post is part of a series on adverse childhood experiences. Read the other parts here. Dr. Susan (Sue) Johnson has been described as the world’s best couples therapist; her approach addresses crucial attachment needs in adults. She has made three points: Individual therapy for trauma can profoundly neutralize intrusive trauma memories. Some remnants of trauma memories are best healed within the bonds of a loving, secure relationship. Couples can learn and apply her work on their own to build secure, loving bonds. This post overviews key principles and skills from Johnson’s work, known as Hold Me Tight, which helps partners build secure, loving bonds. We Are Wired to Love and Be Loved Contrary to earlier theorists, Johnson argues that the drive to attach ourselves emotionally to others, those who are dependable and loving, is innate, normal, and critical to health and happiness throughout life. Children who securely attach to parents tend to become calm adults who readily connect to partners. Children who lack such attachment tend to become adults who anxiously, aggressively seek connection, …