All posts tagged: narcissism

On Narcissism and Romantic Relationships

On Narcissism and Romantic Relationships

Published by Jenni Sidey

A common occurrence in psychotherapy is seeing a patient who seems unable to form any lasting or satisfying long-term romantic relationships. Frequently, they tend to be attracted to emotionally or otherwise unavailable individuals, resulting in repeated failed attempts to establish intimate bonds. In some cases, these same or similar dynamics can be observed in patients who are already in a committed but problematic, volatile, unstable, and stormy relationship. Everyone knows that good communication is essential for healthy relationships. But what happens when clearly communicating just isn’t enough? This is something psychotherapists see frequently: couples having serious difficulties for which teaching them basic communication skills is simply not sufficient. What’s going on in such cases? Freud once remarked that in the marriage bed, there are at least six people present. He referred, of course, to the respective parents. And that’s not counting every previous spouse or sexual partner. One of the major difficulties with relationships is that there are always two individuals, sometimes with two different agendas, each bringing their own emotional “baggage” into the mix. …

When Does National Pride Become National Narcissism?

When Does National Pride Become National Narcissism?

Published by Jenni Sidey

By Anni Sternisko, with edits from Jay Van Bavel On July 4, the United States will celebrate its 250th birthday. The White House has pledged to “showcase our nation and celebrate American greatness,” kicking off the birthday bash with an Ultimate Fighting Championship event on the White House lawn. America’s 250th anniversary was meant to be a moment of shared national pride. Instead, it arrives at a time when national pride itself has become a source of conflict. The question is no longer simply whether people love their country, but what kind of love that is. In honor of the 250th anniversary of signing the Declaration of Independence in the U.S., let’s unpack healthy and harmful forms of national identification and how they shape the world in profoundly different ways. The Many Faces of National Pride National pride can take different forms. At its best, it reflects a real bond with one’s fellow citizens and a commitment to the country’s values: a healthy, secure national identity. But national identity can also be unhealthy, superficial, and …

10 Helpful Therapy Words That Actually Backfire When People Use Them The Wrong Way

10 Helpful Therapy Words That Actually Backfire When People Use Them The Wrong Way

Published by Jenni Sidey

Therapy words can be genuinely helpful. Words like boundaries, narcissist, toxic, validation, gaslighting, trauma, and safe have helped many people explain experiences they didn’t always know how to name. They can make hard feelings easier to talk about and give people language for pain or conflict. But like any useful tool, therapy words can backfire when they’re used too often or applied to every uncomfortable moment. Sometimes a word meant to create understanding ends up shutting down the conversation, making people feel labeled, or turning a normal disagreement into something much bigger. Here are 10 helpful words people learn in therapy that can lose their power when people overuse them: 1. ‘Triggered’ can blur the line between trauma and normal discomfort Originally, the word “triggered” referred to experiences that activate intense emotional or psychological responses, particularly for people dealing with trauma. In clinical settings, a trigger isn’t simply something that someone dislikes. According to Illuminated Thinking, a trauma trigger is an internal or external stimulus that activates a trauma-related response, often because the brain has …

Rove knocks Trump ‘narcissism’: ‘He’s making everything about him’

Rove knocks Trump ‘narcissism’: ‘He’s making everything about him’

Published by Sam Flores

Republican strategist Karl Rove on Wednesday knocked President Trump for displaying signs of “narcissism,” citing the naming of buildings in Washington as just one example. “Renaming the Kennedy Center is example No. 1. There are too many others. Aides feel compelled to stroke Mr. Trump’s ego constantly,” Rove wrote in an op-ed for The Wall… Source link

The Rise of Antisocial Narcissism in America

The Rise of Antisocial Narcissism in America

Published by Sam Flores

We need language that is complex enough, and nuanced enough, to explain the world we find ourselves living in. Few phenomena we experience are simple, black or white. This is especially true for the study of human psychology. In many cases it is more helpful to talk about continuums. An example that leaps to mind is that of sexuality. There is little doubt that sexuality is on a continuum that includes e.g., heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality and other tendencies. If people understood and accepted this concept, it would resolve a lot of misunderstanding and conflict. We now see autism as being on a spectrum. We no longer hear the word “autism” and think of Dustin Hoffman’s portrayal in the film “Rain Man.” In fact, Elon Musk put himself on this spectrum while hosting Saturday Night Live by identifying himself as having Asperger’s. It’s not a big leap to say personality disorders are on a continuum. Personality disorders used to be called character disorders, which is probably a more accurate description for narcissism and antisocial disorders. Lying, …

How Parental Narcissism Disrupts Identity Formation

How Parental Narcissism Disrupts Identity Formation

Published by Jenni Sidey

A common theme amongst survivors of narcissistic abuse is a profound sense of loss regarding one’s sense of identity. You of course know what your name is, what you do for work, who you’re partnered with, and what you like to eat for lunch, but the deeper sense of who-I-am feels fuzzy. You might experience are moments of emptiness when you don’t feel a connection to yourself or others, a sense that you’re performing to make others comfortable rather that just being your self, and instances when it’s difficult to actually say what you mean. What’s going on here? Identity Is Formed in Relationships Many assume the problem is that they haven’t done enough work to really know who they are, but the deeper truth is that they may never have been allowed to be themselves in their family of origin. Identity isn’t formed in a vacuum, it’s formed in relationship. If your parents were highly narcissistic or emotionally immature, then that likely created an insecure attachment. Your ability to lean on them for guidance, …

Manipulative People Almost Always Say 11 Phrases During Even The Most Casual Conversations

Manipulative People Almost Always Say 11 Phrases During Even The Most Casual Conversations

Published by Jenni Sidey

Manipulators become toxic because they feel inadequate. It might not seem like that in their quest for power and control and dominance, but in reality, most manipulators are compensating for a sense of insecurity or powerlessness internally. Manipulative people almost always say certain phrases during even the most casual conversations, whether it’s sparked by childhood trauma and a hyper-competitive household, or something deeper that comes from a place of helplessness. Manipulative people almost always say 11 phrases during even the most casual conversations 1. ‘You’re lucky you have me’ Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock This is a tame alternative to commonly manipulative phrases like “if you loved me, you would…” and “you’d be nowhere without me.” Manipulators do their best to isolate their victims from everyone else, and while that usually comes from weaponization and blame, it can also come from love-bombing and inflating the feelings of safety in their relationship. They need other people to feel entirely dependent on them to live, or they’re impossible to manipulate and take advantage of. RELATED: 10 Ways …

How a mother’s narcissism might shape her daughter’s emotional health

How a mother’s narcissism might shape her daughter’s emotional health

Published by José Betancourt

Young women who perceive their mothers as having highly self-centered traits are more likely to struggle with maintaining their own emotional stability. These results suggest that a parent’s inability to show empathy might negatively impact how a daughter learns to process feelings in early adulthood. The research was published in Frontiers in Psychology. Narcissism involves a grand sense of self-importance combined with a constant need for admiration. People with highly narcissistic personalities tend to prioritize their own personal desires over the feelings of others. They frequently lack the ability to empathize with the people around them. This creates a difficult environment within a family unit. A narcissistic parent might view children merely as extensions of themselves. They often struggle to offer genuine emotional support or validate a child’s independent thoughts and feelings. Children growing up in this type of environment frequently learn to suppress their own emotions to avoid harsh criticism. They might learn early on that maintaining outward appearances matters more than addressing genuine emotional pain. Emotional balance describes a person’s ability to navigate …

‘Lord of the Flies’ reminded me to resist my literary narcissism : NPR

‘Lord of the Flies’ reminded me to resist my literary narcissism : NPR

Published by Sam Flores

David McKenna as Piggy in Netflix’s new Lord of the Flies adaptation. J Redza/Eleven/Sony Pictures Television hide caption toggle caption J Redza/Eleven/Sony Pictures Television Watching Netflix’s new adaptation of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, I found myself struggling. Grappling might be the better word, actually. I wasn’t grappling with the show itself, an ambitious, gorgeously shot if ultimately thin take on a book I absolutely hated, back in ninth grade when my fellow classmates and I got pedagogically frog-marched through its ham-fisted symbolism. (“What do Piggy’s spectacles represent? Write 500 words.”) The new series’ creator, Jack Thorne, co-created Adolescence, last year’s grim chronicle of youth and violence and masculinity — hey, guy’s got a niche. What I was grappling with was my own reaction to the show — namely, how the only character I could manage to care about was Piggy, the brainy, bespectacled fat kid who’s forever carping about looking out for others, fire safety and finding water. (In both the series and in Golding’s book, he represents civilization, judicious restraint, the voice …

Democrats mock reported personalized Patel bourbon: ‘Notes of insecurity, narcissism’ 

Democrats mock reported personalized Patel bourbon: ‘Notes of insecurity, narcissism’ 

Published by Sam Flores

Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee mocked FBI Director Kash Patel after a new report came out saying the Trump administration official occasionally travels with a “personalized branded bourbon” engraved with his name and title.  “The Kash Patel bourbon: strong notes of insecurity, narcissism, incompetence and alcohol-fueled national security risk,” the lawmakers wrote in a… Source link