Beyond Anxiety Avoidance and Wishful Thinking
Long ago, I worked with a youngster dreading a class camping trip. When I asked if she had a plan, she said confidently, “Yes, I do.” Surprised, I asked her to share it. “I hope it rains and the trip is cancelled.” We might think—Ah, kids! But substitute in our own fears: that meeting you’re nervous about, the question you don’t want your client to ask, the flight you really don’t want to take, the medical procedure you have put off… and put off again—we understand exactly that teen’s game plan. It’s ours too. We are fingers-crossed hoping against hope to be airlifted out of our discomfort. The emotional pin we drop essentially says: “Don’t!” and we think: “I can’t!” And that “I can’t” describes our relationship with anxiety more broadly: We don’t want to be in one. No, thank you. We wish we could block it or ghost it, but there it is. Understandably, we don’t want to feel trapped in a discomfort corner. So we become proactive—or pre-emptive—and avoid things where anxiety might …









