Calm Doesn’t Always Need a Technique
A few years ago, I recall my daughter being quite hesitant to go down a long slide in the neighborhood playground. She would often look down at me from up on the top of the slide, as if seeking reassurance that all would be well, and that I was down there waiting to catch her if she came down too fast. I didn’t even have to say anything; just a simple smile and a nod would suffice for her to trade her worried expression for one of unadulterated joy. Down she would whoosh, her momentary fear completely forgotten. What struck me, even then, was how little explanation she seemed to need. She didn’t require a strategy, instructions, or reassurance that her fear was “normal.” What she seemed to need most was a simple cue from me that this was not something worth worrying about. When I think back at this, it makes me increasingly curious about a growing trend in the way we approach children’s emotions: our impulse to teach them techniques—structured, named strategies for …
