All posts tagged: miserable

Movies use this one musical trick to make you feel miserable 

Movies use this one musical trick to make you feel miserable 

Published by Jenni Sidey

Get the Popular Science daily newsletter💡 Breakthroughs, discoveries, and DIY tips sent six days a week. What’s the weirdest thing you learned this week? Well, whatever it is, we promise you’ll have an even weirder answer if you listen to Popular Science’s hit podcast. The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week hits Spotify, YouTube, Apple, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts every-other Wednesday morning. It’s your new favorite source for the strangest science-adjacent facts, figures, and Wikipedia spirals our editors can muster. If you like the stories in this post, we guarantee you’ll love the show. FACT: This musical motif is works like an emotional cheat code  By Jess Boddy So I played a lot of Hollow Knight: Silksong last year. And if you’ve played or even watched some of that game, you’ll recognize the core motif that’s embedded in the game’s entire soundtrack. In fact, it might even sound familiar if you’ve never played Silksong at all. That’s because that motif is actually an 800-year-old Latin chant called the “Dies irae.” After it …

Why Demands Make You Miserable

Why Demands Make You Miserable

Published by Jenni Sidey

The parable of the Chinese farmer is an ancient Taoist essay from the Han Dynasty, with an REBT twist: A poor Chinese farmer discovers his one horse has run away. His friends comfort him and say what a terrible disaster this was. The farmer doesn’t say this absolutely must not have happened. Instead, he says, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” The next day, the horse returns with a few wild horses. His friends rejoice at his good fortune. The farmer does not respond by saying it absolutely should have occurred. Rather, he tells his friends, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” Then, while riding one of the wild horses, the farmer’s son breaks his leg. His friends decry his misfortune. The farmer says, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” The next day, a military representative shows up to conscript his son into the army. But his son is passed over due to his broken leg. The farmer’s friends are overjoyed at his good luck. The farmer says, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” What Can We Learn From the Parable? In each …

Why does alcohol make us both happy and miserable – and what else does it do to our minds and bodies? | Health & wellbeing

Why does alcohol make us both happy and miserable – and what else does it do to our minds and bodies? | Health & wellbeing

Published by Sam Flores

Whatever you think of alcohol, you have to admit that it’s versatile. Ever since the first humans started smashing up fruit and leaving it in pots to chug a few days later, we’ve been relying on it to celebrate and commiserate, to deal with anxiety and to make us more creative. We use it to build confidence and kill boredom, to get us in the mood for going out and to put us to (nonoptimal) sleep. Where most mind-altering substances have one or two specific use-cases, alcohol does the lot. That’s probably why it’s been so ubiquitous throughout human history – and why it can be so hard to give up entirely. “We often call alcohol pharmacologically promiscuous,” says Dr Rayyan Zafar, a neuropsychopharmacologist from Imperial College London. “It doesn’t just calm you: it can stimulate reward pathways, dampen threat signals, release endogenous opioids that can relieve pain or stress, alter decision-making and shift mood, all at the same time.” By way of comparison, we know that cocaine primarily acts on our dopamine and noradrenaline …

“Falling back” makes us more miserable than “springing forward,” new study finds

“Falling back” makes us more miserable than “springing forward,” new study finds

Published by José Betancourt

A study using U.S. online and social media posts found that people’s moods tend to worsen during the biannual transitions to Daylight Saving Time (in the spring) and Standard Time (in the fall). This worsening of mood is more pronounced after the change to Standard Time in the fall. The paper was published in PLOS One. Seasonal time change is the practice of adjusting clocks twice a year. In spring, clocks are moved forward by one hour to Daylight Saving Time, usually in March. This shift is described as “losing” an hour of sleep. In fall, clocks are moved back by one hour to Standard Time, typically in October or November. This is known as “gaining” an extra hour of sleep. The purpose of these changes is to make better use of daylight during longer days. In spring, evenings become lighter, while mornings are darker. In fall, mornings become lighter, while evenings get darker earlier. These changes can temporarily affect sleep patterns and daily routines. However, research shows that time changes are associated with negative …

I’ve Never Been Married — But Watching Happy (And Miserable) Couples Taught Me These 9 Marriage Rules

I’ve Never Been Married — But Watching Happy (And Miserable) Couples Taught Me These 9 Marriage Rules

Published by Jenni Sidey

I’ve never been married, but watching both happy and miserable couples taught me a few marriage rules about how to have a happy partnership. You probably disagree and think, “Why the heck would anybody want a relationship prescription from a love doctor who has never said I do?” Fair question. But I’m even less qualified than that. Until recently, I’d never read a relationship self-help book. However, my complete lack of firsthand and textbook knowledge is exactly why you should listen to me. Researchers have suggested “positive marital illusions are a cultural phenomenon,” and I’m unbiased. I haven’t been scarred or jaded by my own marriage(s). The advice I provide comes only from observation. I’ve never been married — but watching happy (and miserable) couples taught me these 9 marriage rules: 1. Invite your partner’s input on your look goodluz via Shuterstock Guys, your bride bought you a new style of jeans and shirts to go with them. She did not do this merely because she grew bored while online shopping for herself. She did …

A Review of ‘How to Be Less Miserable’

A Review of ‘How to Be Less Miserable’

Published by Jenni Sidey

Nearly 75 years ago, in 1952, when positive psychology set off a wave of religiously inspired self-help in the U.S. with the release of Norman Vincent Peale’s popular bestseller The Power of Positive Thinking, the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich asked in war-torn Austria, in a now-famous exchange with his colleague Kurt Eissler, “Where does the misery come from?” The timing in each case was not a coincidence. Frustrated by Freud’s argument that psychical suffering was mostly due to internal warfare—a despotic and implacable superego, ruled by unappeasable death instinct—Reich wanted the focus turned outward, “out where the people were,” to take more of the war into account and somehow to treat social dynamics and oppression, tied to the poverty that was then regionwide. Rethinking the causes of misery appeared necessary in war-torn Europe. However, Reich’s spin on one of Freud’s last best models for our “discontents” oversimplified the type of internal divisiveness that was said to remain, leaving the superego more like a guardian to societal values than, per Freud’s late work, the vehicle …

Why toxic positivity is making us miserable

Why toxic positivity is making us miserable

Published by Jenni Sidey

KATE BOWLER: Even the most well-intentioned kinds of optimism really does have a dark side. Optimism can transform into denial. Toxic positivity by definition is about a stubborn optimism that refuses reality. Toxic positivity is an aggressive belief that only optimism and hopeful emotions are going to serve you. It fundamentally resists contradictory information. It will say, I don’t believe you. Things are going to get better, and it is one of the most dominant emotional registers in our culture today. Toxic positivity is like self-help titles, good vibes only. Don’t worry, be happy. When I got cancer, people often told me that everything happens for a reason, and what they meant was that I will learn important lessons that will eventually enrich my life if it doesn’t kill me. But some things happen for no good reason. Sometimes in life we have to step up to the edge of the great mystery and in the face of mystery we can’t always say, we will know why. If we don’t have a wider range than a …

You Can Almost Always Tell Someone Is Unhappy By These 11 Behaviors That Are Obvious Once You See Them

You Can Almost Always Tell Someone Is Unhappy By These 11 Behaviors That Are Obvious Once You See Them

Published by Jenni Sidey

While sadness is a universal and normal emotion to feel, when someone is dealing with chronic unhappiness, their behavior starts to shift. Whether it’s isolating themselves, neglecting self-care, or over-apologizing, you can almost always tell someone is unhappy by these behaviors that are obvious once you see them. At first, however, they may be so good at hiding their unhappiness that these actions seem normal. Feeling embarrassed and conflicted, they’ll bury their emotions to avoid anyone finding out. But try as they may, eventually, their behavior will give them away, especially to their closest friends and loved ones. When people notice that others are feeling down like this, it’s essential to offer a support system. Because while they might not open up right away, they can have a safe space that is the difference between thriving and feeling alone.  You can almost always tell someone is unhappy by these 11 behaviors that are obvious once you see them 1. They withdraw socially Wasana Kunpol | Shutterstock Sometimes, people will never admit how miserable they are. …

5 Things That Are Very Easy If You’re Happy, But Are Super Challenging For Miserable People | Zoe Shaw

5 Things That Are Very Easy If You’re Happy, But Are Super Challenging For Miserable People | Zoe Shaw

Published by Jenni Sidey

Happiness is not something we seek, but rather something we choose. You were sold a bill of goods when it comes to being happy, especially as women. It was never true that success alone would bring you happiness. The problem may not be with you after all.  The problem is that you believed that attaining those things would make you happy, and you are stumped and frustrated that it doesn’t. But it can’t. It never could. Happiness is not out there. It’s inside yourself. It’s kind of like when someone gushes about how great something tastes, and you taste i,t and it just tastes okay — you are disappointed. If someone told you the same thing was very good for you and that it tasted okay, you would eat it and have a very different experience. Your expectations would be realistic. Long-term studies cited in Psychology Today showed that being married does not result in being happier or having a more satisfied life. Women are actually less happy in marriages than men. I am not …

Why losing three stone made me more miserable than I was before

Why losing three stone made me more miserable than I was before

Published by Daniella Wilson

Sign up to our free Living Well email for advice on living a happier, healthier and longer life Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter The EastEnders star Lorraine Stanley says she “regrets” how she lost half her body weight – a whopping seven stone – and I can really understand her dilemma. While my weight loss wasn’t quite as dramatic as Stanley’s, it was significant enough for me to struggle with it psychologically. I had piled on the pounds after two pregnancies and then started stress eating as a single, working mum, who was also caring for my elderly dad. When my GP told me my cholesterol levels were dangerously high, I got a private prescription of Wegovy in 2024 and then, in a matter of a few months, I was nearly three stone lighter. The actor took a more drastic route to tackle her weight and resorted to a gastric sleeve operation to remove …