All posts tagged: Overthinking

People In Their 50s And 60s Who Feel Happiest Without Overthinking It Tend To Do These 2 Things | Melanie Gorman

People In Their 50s And 60s Who Feel Happiest Without Overthinking It Tend To Do These 2 Things | Melanie Gorman

Published by Jenni Sidey

All humans have one common goal in life: To achieve complete happiness. Many ancient Greek philosophers famously contemplated the key to happiness. Socrates, for example, said, “The secret to happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” This adage has definitely stood the test of time, even in our modern, capitalist world. Many believe that happiness comes from rewards earned from our successes. We fill our lives with an abundance of monetary wealth and expensive objects (cars, houses, jewelry, etc.). But honestly, as cliché as it sounds, money can’t buy you happiness. According to a collaborative global study released in 2011, researchers found that 30 percent of the population in some of the wealthiest nations (with the U.S. near the top of that list) suffer from depression. What’s the real key to happiness, you ask? Author and host Charles J. Orlando, author Dr. John Gray, life coach and speaker Cara Cordoni, licensed psychotherapist and bioenergetic analyst Leah Benson, and counselor and therapist Atul Kumar Mehra discussed the true ways to gain happiness.  RELATED: 4 Little Lies That Keep You Trapped In Overthinking People in their 50s and 60s …

How to stop overthinking, according to psychologists

How to stop overthinking, according to psychologists

Published by José Betancourt

For many people, the human mind can feel like an exhaustingly busy place. A casual conversation with a coworker or a minor financial decision can trigger hours of endless analysis. You might find yourself staring at the ceiling at night, replaying old mistakes or imagining future catastrophes. When you overthink, you do not even have to move a muscle to feel completely drained. Your brain responds to stressful thoughts as if they were physical threats in your immediate environment. This kicks off a biological stress response that floods your body with energy to fight or flee. While this response helps in genuine emergencies, it becomes incredibly draining when activated repeatedly by mere thoughts. Your brain also uses significant energy to anticipate outcomes, remember details, and make decisions. Add in the sleep lost to a racing mind, and it is easy to see why chronic overthinking leaves people feeling depleted. Psychologists refer to this exhausting mental loop as repetitive negative thinking. This broad term encompasses two main habits that keep people stuck in their heads. The …

Overthinking Can Be Good for You

Overthinking Can Be Good for You

Published by Jenni Sidey

Unlike with cognitive behavior therapy, where new thoughts help you overcome old feelings, many who are struggling with depression hope for positive, new experiences, and the positive, new feelings they elicit, to help them overcome old thoughts. When people say they want something external to help them feel better, they tend to mean they hope for something to make them happy by silencing their overactive mind. While this is possible in some cases, it’s much harder with perfectionism, where few external things or experiences elicit joy because few of them live up to your standards. So, hoping for immediate gratification is akin to a dice roll. It isn’t that it never happens; it’s that it can’t be relied on. However, since perfectionists are overthinkers (i.e., people who think deeply about topics, even when unnecessary), it’s possible to use the ability to project yourself into the future and your ability to take a bird’s-eye view to your advantage. On its own, overthinking isn’t good or bad; the label depends on your goals, even if unconscious. If …

Your Child Isn’t Lazy—They’re Overthinking

Your Child Isn’t Lazy—They’re Overthinking

Published by Jenni Sidey

You are at your wits’ end after reassuring, coaxing, encouraging, and telling your child or teen they know how to do what they aren’t doing. Your child still stalls at the starting line. Simple homework assignments are met with agony. Even small decisions seem overwhelming in your child’s mind. They keep asking the same questions, and you are exasperated because your answers and reassurance just are not helping. From the outside, this easily looks like defiance, procrastination, or a good old-fashioned lack of caring and effort. But within your child’s unsettled, spinning mind, it is overthinking. And then, guess what, you start to overthink. You wrack your brain with thoughts like, “If they can’t cope now, how will they make it in life?” The Most Misread Struggle in Capable Children and Teens Many of the children in my counseling practice are bright, sensitive, and conscientious. They certainly don’t wake up each day saying to themselves, “What things can I do today to make my life miserable and the lives of those around me miserable, too?” …

Women Who Do 11 Things When They Are Alone Are Almost Always Living In Survival Mode Instead Of Truly Being Happy

Women Who Do 11 Things When They Are Alone Are Almost Always Living In Survival Mode Instead Of Truly Being Happy

Published by Jenni Sidey

Being alone can be quite peaceful, but for some women, it’s a time that can actually bring more stress than anything else. Instead of actually being able to relax, women might notice themselves doing certain things when no one else is around, which could be a sign of survival mode. Being in survival mode isn’t always about being unmotivated; it can also mean your mind and body are always on edge. Women who are constantly living in survival mode might have habits they think keep them safe, even when there’s nothing to worry about. A lot of habits women have when they’re alone are just their brains trying to cope with the constant stress they may feel. It’s a sign that their nervous system is working overtime. Having a dysregulated nervous system can end up affecting people in more ways than one, including impacting their decision-making skills and even increasing anxiety levels. When that happens, it can just be exhausting. Living in survival mode doesn’t necessarily make you weak; it just means you’ve been through …

People Who Think Too Much And Feel Too Deeply Say These 11 Phrases Way Too Often

People Who Think Too Much And Feel Too Deeply Say These 11 Phrases Way Too Often

Published by Jenni Sidey

Some people seem to absorb life rather than simply react to it. Every comment, every pause in conversation, every shift in someone’s tone carries meaning. When you think too much and feel too deeply, your internal world rarely goes quiet. That intensity shows up not just in thoughts, but in the phrases you repeat without even realizing it. Psychologists often link overthinking and emotional depth with heightened sensitivity and strong pattern recognition. These traits can create insight, empathy, and creativity. They can also produce anxiety, rumination, and constant self-monitoring. Over time, certain phrases become verbal shortcuts for the mental loops that run beneath the surface. If you hear yourself saying these often, your mind might be working overtime. People who think too much and feel too deeply say these 11 phrases way too often 1. ‘I might be overthinking this, but…’ Miljan Zivkovic / Shutterstock This phrase usually appears right before a detailed emotional analysis. It signals awareness of the tendency to spiral, even as it continues. The person saying it often already knows they’ve …

Stop overthinking your Valentine’s gift – behavioural science says you’re probably worrying about the wrong thing

Stop overthinking your Valentine’s gift – behavioural science says you’re probably worrying about the wrong thing

Published by skeptic

Have you ever feared looking cheap or incompetent with your Valentine’s gift? Or perhaps you’ve dismissed the idea of exchanging gifts because you worried your partner would think it’s too corny. If so, you’re not alone. But research suggests we may be missing out on an opportunity to strengthen our close relationships by rejecting this ritual entirely. In romantic relationships, the act of giving serves as a fundamental signal of relationship value, where the investment of resources like time, effort and money communicates a partner’s level of commitment and care. When choosing a Valentine’s gift for a loved one, we may find ourselves worrying about making the “wrong” choice and leaning towards a safe, albeit expensive option. Yet psychological research suggests we’re often worrying about the wrong thing when deciding on a gift. Expensive gifts aren’t inherently bad, but people systematically underestimate the appreciation our partner may feel when they receive a thoughtful gift, regardless of its polish. A 2025 study documented what the researchers called the “who cares more” asymmetry. When giving gifts, we …

Overthinking Is The New Failure to Launch

Overthinking Is The New Failure to Launch

Published by Jenni Sidey

I often have parents contact me about their children, saying something like, “Why can’t they move forward?” “I know they’re smart”, “We have been trying to give them opportunities”. What these parents don’t realize is that today’s failure to launch is not always behavioral in nature. It can be due to cognitive constipation (bear with me on the Gastrointestinal metaphor; I am trying to make a point). Yes, that’s right. It is those nasty doses of overthinking—the behind-the-scenes fuel—that crank up the hidden anxiety burning in your adult child’s brain. So, when you hear something like, “I’m not going to take some stupid, soul-sucking job”, just know that overthinking is likely lurking under the surface. Why Is Overthinking So Often Behind the Failure To Launch? Failure to launch was once blamed on entitlement or a lack of motivation. Today, the real culprit is overthinking. It is fueled by seemingly endless options and constant comparisons (thank you, social media!). Overthinking appears in various ways. It can look like endless planning (“My resume is not good enough—after …

Overthinking Is Rewiring Parents to Fear Adult Children

Overthinking Is Rewiring Parents to Fear Adult Children

Published by Jenni Sidey

Most parents who reach out for coaching say they can’t recall the moment(s) when it began. I’m talking about when they started pausing, maybe several times, before responding to their adult child’s texts. Or, those parents softening their opinions (or straight-up twisting them) so as not to spark reactivity in their adult children. Or, they bite their tongues altogether and avoid certain topics. These parents confide that they aren’t afraid of their adult children per se, but they are afraid of the daunting challenge of having calm, constructive conversations with them. Overthinking Slowly Rewires the Parental Nervous System How can parents not have memories of swaddling and nurturing their adult children as infants, toddlers, and young kids? How the heck did things go from all that affection and awe to the current strain and emotional pain? Over years of disconnects, unresolved conflicts, and consequent hidden anxieties, parents’ love for their adult children, which was associated with connection, now becomes cautious. The overthinking patterns I am referring to can best be illustrated with a few examples …

The Hidden Way Parents Accidentally Fuel Overthinking

The Hidden Way Parents Accidentally Fuel Overthinking

Published by Jenni Sidey

If you are like most parents of overthinkers, you seem to do everything right. You listen, reassure, and explain things to help your child feel better. And yet the overthinking doesn’t stop. Sometimes it actually gets worse. That’s because how quickly you respond often has more to do with managing your child’s overthinking than with your response. The Problem Is Not The Lack of Reassurance The urgency behind the reassurance is what actually drives many kids to stay in maddening overthinking loops. When a child says: What if I fail? What if something bad happens? What if somebody laughs at me? Most parents instantly jump in to try to quell the fear: Explaining why it won’t happen giving evidence offering reassurance trying to fix the feeling The parents who reach out to me initially stress that it feels natural, loving, and “what any concerned parent would do” when their child is struggling in a nagging loop of worries. I get it. But to a child’s overthinking brain, this message can sound very different: This must …