All posts tagged: Peoplepleasing

How to stop people-pleasing with author Beatriz Victoria Albina

How to stop people-pleasing with author Beatriz Victoria Albina

“I hear all the time — I’m 35, 45, 55, 65, 75 — and I have no idea who I am. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I need, I’ve only lived in a role. Good girl, good daughter, good wife, good employee, good grandma … who am I?” Beatriz Victoria Albina says of the thousands of women she’s specialized in serving for the last decade. “From there, we struggle to make decisions. We take on a therapist role in relationships, always listening, always supporting, always problem-solving, but we don’t get that support in return for so many reasons.” Shelf Help is a wellness column where we interview researchers, thinkers and writers about their latest books — all with the aim of learning how to live a more complete life. A certified somatic life coach, breathworker and former nurse practitioner, who resides in Brooklyn, Albina is the author of “End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, People-Pleasing Habits” (out in paperback this September), which educates readers on these phenomena …

People-pleasing is officially giving women chronic health issues: why do we do it?

People-pleasing is officially giving women chronic health issues: why do we do it?

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more The compulsion to please others is inherently female. Say what you like about the evolution of gender roles and power dynamics between men and women in the modern age – everywhere you look, people-pleasing does not bear the same weight across genders. Thanks to a combination of factors – social conditioning, emotional vigilance, and straightforward sexism – women have a propensity to bend to the will of others much more than men, often putting their own needs to one side to prioritise (and please) others. This can mean saying “yes” when we mean “no”, taking on additional responsibilities we don’t have the time or energy for, and never making time to do something just for ourselves, seeing it as self-indulgent and wasteful. Now, research …