All posts tagged: Positivity

‘My body is fat, not wrong’: how body neutrality – not positivity – helped me shed a lifetime of shame | Health & wellbeing

‘My body is fat, not wrong’: how body neutrality – not positivity – helped me shed a lifetime of shame | Health & wellbeing

In 1981 the CD was born and so was I. Both arrivals were surprising and have drifted in and out of fashion ever since. As a baby, my majestic “chonk lord” status was cause for celebration and an indication of prosperity. But from a young age I noticed that my presence seemed to offend other people. When I was seven, I remember asking to have a go at skipping, after having turned the rope for everyone else. One child enlightened me on why I couldn’t: I was too fat to skip. Children learn hierarchy from adults and then their peers. Who belongs, who doesn’t and why. My classmates learned from adults to see me as something to mock and despise. Even my own well-meaning father once sat me down and told me that nobody would love, trust or employ me due to my body shape. This didn’t shock me; I’d already picked up what everyone was putting down. Overriding genetics and environment is a tall order, but I learned quickly that if I leaned into …

If You Feel Like You Just Can’t Catch A Break, These 8 Reminders Are Worth Holding Onto

If You Feel Like You Just Can’t Catch A Break, These 8 Reminders Are Worth Holding Onto

You’ve had a really downright awful week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Just like the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.”  That’s how last week felt for me: My washer broke, my car got towed, my shower stopped draining water, I wasn’t getting my paychecks, my roommate and I got stuck driving in the snow, and everyone just passed by without any sign of acknowledgement, and that’s only the start of it. I know I’m not the only one who has had these weeks, because that’s life.  As much as it felt like I couldn’t catch a break (I almost felt like I was literally just waiting for the next thing to go wrong), it taught me a lot. Psychotherapist Leah Marone explained that our brains simply aren’t built to operate at full throttle all day, and when stress keeps piling on without any room to breathe, the whole system stays locked in response mode; it’s basically the worst. Some seasons of life just feel relentlessly hard, and when you get stuck in …

Bridgerton’s Nicola Coughlan says body positivity discussions about her size are ‘boring’

Bridgerton’s Nicola Coughlan says body positivity discussions about her size are ‘boring’

Get the latest entertainment news, reviews and star-studded interviews with our Independent Culture email Get the latest entertainment news with our free Culture newsletter Get the latest entertainment news with our free Culture newsletter Bridgerton star Nicola Coughlan has voiced her profound disinterest in the concept of “body positivity,” labelling discussions about her size as “boring” and a distraction from her craft. The 39-year-old Irish actor, celebrated for her role as Penelope Featherington in the Netflix regency drama and Clare Devlin in Channel 4’s Derry Girls, shared her candid views in an interview with Elle UK. “The thing I say sometimes that pisses people off is I have no interest in body positivity,” Coughlan stated. “When I was a kid growing up, I never thought about that. I didn’t look at actors and think about their bodies. So, I actually don’t care.” She added, “There’s a lot of things I’m passionate about, it’s not one of them… That’s someone else’s thing. It’s not mine.” Coughlan highlighted the absurdity of being praised as a “plus-size” actress …

Bridgerton’s Nicola Coughlan says body positivity discussions about her size are ‘boring’

Bridgerton’s Nicola Coughlan says body positivity discussions are ‘boring’

Get the latest entertainment news, reviews and star-studded interviews with our Independent Culture email Get the latest entertainment news with our free Culture newsletter Get the latest entertainment news with our free Culture newsletter Bridgerton star Nicola Coughlan has voiced her profound disinterest in the concept of “body positivity,” labelling discussions about her size as “boring” and a distraction from her craft. The 39-year-old Irish actor, celebrated for her role as Penelope Featherington in the Netflix regency drama and Clare Devlin in Channel 4’s Derry Girls, shared her candid views in an interview with Elle UK. “The thing I say sometimes that pisses people off is I have no interest in body positivity,” Coughlan stated. “When I was a kid growing up, I never thought about that. I didn’t look at actors and think about their bodies. So, I actually don’t care.” She added, “There’s a lot of things I’m passionate about, it’s not one of them… That’s someone else’s thing. It’s not mine.” Coughlan highlighted the absurdity of being praised as a “plus-size” actress …

When Life Feels Overwhelming And You’re Barely Holding It Together, These 5 Truths Matter Most

When Life Feels Overwhelming And You’re Barely Holding It Together, These 5 Truths Matter Most

I wish every day could be bright and happy, but it turns out that life doesn’t work that way. Life isn’t always easy, and some days feel overwhelming, like you’re barely holding it together, but the hardest days teach the most valuable lessons. When everything feels like too much, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re falling behind or doing something wrong. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause, take a breath, and remind yourself of a few things that are easy to forget when the weight of the world feels heavy. When life feels overwhelming and you’re barely holding it together, these 5 simple truths matter most: 1. Appreciate the time you have because it’s limited Nobody knows how much time they have in life, so we need to make our lives count. Some days, we need more time to do simple tasks and rest our bodies. We should count each task and plan to manage the energy we need instead of rushing through life. It’s important for us to use …

Why toxic positivity is making us miserable

Why toxic positivity is making us miserable

KATE BOWLER: Even the most well-intentioned kinds of optimism really does have a dark side. Optimism can transform into denial. Toxic positivity by definition is about a stubborn optimism that refuses reality. Toxic positivity is an aggressive belief that only optimism and hopeful emotions are going to serve you. It fundamentally resists contradictory information. It will say, I don’t believe you. Things are going to get better, and it is one of the most dominant emotional registers in our culture today. Toxic positivity is like self-help titles, good vibes only. Don’t worry, be happy. When I got cancer, people often told me that everything happens for a reason, and what they meant was that I will learn important lessons that will eventually enrich my life if it doesn’t kill me. But some things happen for no good reason. Sometimes in life we have to step up to the edge of the great mystery and in the face of mystery we can’t always say, we will know why. If we don’t have a wider range than a …

People Are Bloomscrolling When Everything Starts Stressing Them Out

People Are Bloomscrolling When Everything Starts Stressing Them Out

In a world full of negativity and challenges, we often turn to doomscrolling as a way of taking our minds off things. However, a new trend is emerging, one that invites a little joy into our lives.  It’s called “bloomscrolling,” and more people are becoming aware of its benefits. We typically enjoy coming across a wholesome story or some happy news, but making this the only type of content we see on our feeds has some powerful neurological and psychological impacts.  People are turning to ‘bloomscrolling’ to help relieve stress in their daily lives. Unlike doomscrolling, which involves continuously scrolling through social media feeds even when the content is upsetting or overwhelming, bloomscrolling intentionally focuses on the positive. It involves curating the content you see to be uplifting, educational, or inspiring. Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock Maybe you follow personal growth content because it motivates you, or you choose educational content because you want to learn and expand your knowledge. The point is to only allow things in your feed that make you feel happy or …

Toxic Positivity as a Mask in Covert Narcissism

Toxic Positivity as a Mask in Covert Narcissism

Positivity is often framed as a person having an optimistic and realistic outlook on life, while simultaneously allowing space for all emotions—the good and the bad—to be identified and processed without resorting to defensive coping strategies such as avoiding, minimizing, or rationalizing felt experiences. Being positive does not mean you have “perfect” mental health. Rather, it suggests that you acknowledge moments of vulnerability, fear, anger, or sadness while giving yourself time and space to process and grow from these difficulties. On the flip side, toxic positivity is identified as an excessive and shallow display of optimism, at the expense of authentic depth and emotional maturity. Toxic positivity is based on maintaining a “positive” mindset that is unrealistic and unsustainable because it is based on denying negative emotions that are both necessary and adaptive. For example, ignoring or downplaying negative emotions does not eliminate them, but typically causes a rebound effect where repressed emotions resurface with greater intensity. A constant pattern of pushing away negative emotions often shows up as severe and chronic anxiety or physical …