All posts tagged: Rejection

The Grief of Family Rejection

The Grief of Family Rejection

Published by Jenni Sidey

“I should be happy right now,” Jared said with a sigh. “This weekend is my wedding- this should be the happiest time of my life. But, I can’t focus. I can’t stop thinking about how my father wont be there.” He paused as tears pooled in his eyes. “It’s not fair.” he said, crying. “It’s not fair,” I echoed in agreement. I had been with Jared for years; he contacted me back when he first came out to his family. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well,” he had said during his first call, “and I want some support for when that happens.” In my experience, families can be surprising when their loved ones come out as LGBTQ. Sometimes, parents who we think won’t be accepting end up being supportive. Of course, the best scenerio is full, unconditional love and acceptance, which every human being deserves from their family. Unfortunately, Jared’s parents were not surprising. He had grown up in an environment filled with homophobia, and had known from a young age …

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: The Iceberg Under the Surface

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: The Iceberg Under the Surface

Published by Jenni Sidey

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a lesser-known ADHD symptom, affects many of us in the neurodivergent community. But what is it, exactly? To understand, we look to the work of psychiatrist William Dodson, who defines RSD as an intense vulnerability to the perception—not necessarily the reality—of being rejected, teased, or criticized by important people in your life. This isn’t just a matter of “feeling sensitive.” It causes extreme emotional pain that can be triggered by a sense of failure or falling short of your own high standards. It’s an experience so intense that it can feel almost physically painful (Mutti-Driscoll, 2024). The “Iceberg” of RSD Experts increasingly think of RSD as an iceberg. Most people only see what’s happening at the tip, when an emotional outburst occurs, but there is so much more operating below the surface (Mutti-Driscoll, in press). Above the Surface: The Stress Response On the surface, we see only the immediate reaction, especially in those with more difficulty controlling their emotional expression. Some describe it as a “white heart rage” or the “depths …

Acceptance and Rejection Are Universal

Acceptance and Rejection Are Universal

Published by Jenni Sidey

Relationships are voluntary. Acceptance or rejection are self-chosen personal processes that generate affect states such as liking or disliking, trust or distrust, sincerity or insincerity, and the potential for voluntary relational engagement or disengagement. None of these can be externally coerced. This is not a limitation of individuals or societies but a universal feature of human consciousness and the structure of all relationships (Baumeister & Leary, 1995; Deci & Ryan, 2000; Heinämaa, 2020; Korsgaard, 1989; Pietromonaco & Barrett, 1997). This universality begins before consciousness emerges. Human beings are born with biological, neurobiological, and neuromuscular systems that develop to discriminate among survival-relevant stimuli. Newborns show unlearned reactions to sweetness and bitterness (visible in facial expressions and physiological changes), demonstrating sensory evaluation at birth. Early sensory judgements are biologically established and active from the first moments of life. These innate responses are part of holistic, biologically developing systems that guide early orientation towards comfort, safety, and caregiving, long before consciousness and complex cognitive learning are established (Blass & Watt, 1999; Bowlby, 1982; Rosenstein & Oster, 1988). Ongoing …

Adults Who Were Singled Out & Felt Unwanted As A Child Often Develop These 11 Destructive Habits

Adults Who Were Singled Out & Felt Unwanted As A Child Often Develop These 11 Destructive Habits

Published by Jenni Sidey

People develop much of their self-worth based on the messages they received in their formative years, which is why adults who were singled out or felt unwanted as children can develop destructive habits. If you were treated with kindness and acceptance, you probably learned to value yourself and believe in your abilities. If not, the opposite can be true.   Our emotional well-being is impacted by our sense of belonging. Fortunately, there are ways to change these patterns once we recognize them.  Adults who were singled out & felt unwanted as a child often develop these 11 destructive habits 1. They avoid rejection Pheelings media | Shutterstock As human beings, we’re inherently social creatures, which means we need connection with other people to survive and thrive. If you were excluded as by other kids in school, it likely lowered your self-esteem and affected the way you form attachments in adulthood. A 2017 study titled “Causes and Consequences of Social Exclusion and Peer Rejection Among Children and Adolescents” noted that exclusion isn’t always intended to cause …

The psychological impact of ghosting lasts longer than outright rejection

The psychological impact of ghosting lasts longer than outright rejection

Published by José Betancourt

Being ignored without explanation tends to cause more prolonged psychological distress than being directly rejected. A new study published in Computers in Human Behavior provides evidence that while both ghosting and explicit rejection hurt, the uncertainty of ghosting slows down a person’s emotional recovery. This research suggests that clear communication during a breakup, even in casual digital interactions, helps people process the event and move on more easily. Ghosting is the practice of unilaterally ending a relationship by cutting off all communication without providing any explanation. It has become incredibly common in the digital age, especially on dating apps and social media platforms. The person who disappears leaves the other person to figure out what went wrong entirely on their own. “Ghosting often comes up in everyday conversations about modern relationships and digital communication. While many people describe it as a particularly painful experience, others argue that disappearing might actually be kinder than explicitly rejecting someone. I wanted to test whether this intuition is actually true and better understand how people psychologically react to these …

Woman Embarks On A Year-Long Experiment Of Purposely Being Rejected 1,000 Times

Woman Embarks On A Year-Long Experiment Of Purposely Being Rejected 1,000 Times

Published by Jenni Sidey

A woman named Gabriella Carr attempted to dispel her fears about rejection by throwing herself headfirst into a constant stream of “nos.” Through a year-long experiment, Carr hopes to discover the power of facing rejection instead of fearing it. Rejection is something that most people try to avoid at all costs. We’re constantly trying to play it safe so we don’t have to face disappointment when things don’t work out the way we might’ve wanted. However, whether it’s your love life or professional endeavors, rejection is inevitable, and avoiding it only makes these learning experiences harder to handle. A woman embarks on a year-long experiment of purposely being rejected 1,000 times. “I’ve been rejected 1,000 times. Hopefully, what I’ll be saying after a few months,” Carr began in her TikTok video about her experiment. “You know anything about me? It’s that I love chasing dreams. All the dreams I’m chasing are full of nos. They can be so discouraging.” Carr explained that she’s trying to push through that feeling. In her experiment, she’s carrying around …

Former Strictly star who took his own life, Robin Windsor, was ‘vulnerable to rejection’ | UK News

Former Strictly star who took his own life, Robin Windsor, was ‘vulnerable to rejection’ | UK News

Published by Daniella Wilson

A former Strictly Come Dancing star who took his own life in 2024 was “vulnerable to rejection both emotionally and professionally”, an inquest jury has concluded. Professional dancer Robin Windsor, 44, was found dead in a hotel room in Shepherd’s Bush. He left a note saying the way he was treated when he was dropped from Strictly Come Dancing in 2015 “destroyed him”, jurors at West London Coroner’s Court heard. After deliberating for around two hours, the forewoman gave the jury’s findings on Thursday, saying: “We agree that the probable causes are an accumulation of many attributes to depression. “Robin Jamie Windsor suffered from childhood trauma, he was vulnerable to rejection both emotionally and professionally. “We also agree that loneliness, the lack of emotional maturity, the pressure of mounting debts, the lack of consistent mental health care and support and reoccurring heartache are all contributing factors of Robin Jamie Windsor’s mental health deterioration which in turn led him to take his own life.” Image: Robin Windsor. Pic: PA Mr Windsor, a Latin and ballroom dancer, …

‘How rejection sensitivity dysphoria almost killed me’

‘How rejection sensitivity dysphoria almost killed me’

Published by Daniella Wilson

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more I like making pancakes. It’s one of the things I pride myself in being good at. One day, I decided to make pancakes for my partner, and I was very excited. I went to buy the flour, eggs and milk, and as I was stirring the ingredients, she said: “Alex, you’re stirring the ingredients in the wrong order!” It was a throwaway comment. But I remember my euphoria and excitement for the evening instantly disappeared. I almost went non-verbal. I didn’t understand why and how there could be such a drastic change in my mood. I didn’t come across the term RSD – rejection sensitivity dysphoria – until years later. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2023, and soon after, started a podcast called …

How Trump’s Greenland threats amount to an implicit rejection of the legal principles of Nuremberg

How Trump’s Greenland threats amount to an implicit rejection of the legal principles of Nuremberg

Published by Sam Flores

(The Conversation) — U.S. President Donald Trump has, for the moment, indicated a willingness to abandon his threat to take over Greenland through military force – saying that he prefers negotiation to invasion. He is, however, continuing to assert that the United States ought to acquire ownership of the self-governing territory. Trump has repeatedly raised the possibility of using military action, against both Greenland and Canada. These threats were often taken as fanciful. The fact that he has, successfully, used military force to remove Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro from power has lent some plausibility to these threats. Crucially, these military possibilities have been justified almost exclusively with reference to what Trump’s administration sees as America’s national interests. Anything short of ownership in the case of Greenland, the president has emphasized, would fail to adequately protect American interests. As a political philosopher concerned with the moral analysis of international relations, I am deeply troubled by this vision of warfare – and by the moral justifications used to legitimize the making of war. This view of warfare …

The Upside of Professional Rejection

The Upside of Professional Rejection

Published by Daniella Wilson

My relationship with rejection, professionally speaking, is complicated. I’m a writer, and although I’ve been hearing “thanks, but no thanks” in response to pitches since the ’90s, that hasn’t made the no’s easy; I still smart when I think of story ideas that editors swatted away years ago. It’s normal to hear “no” and jump to the conclusion that something is fundamentally wrong—with one’s work or, worse, with oneself. As I’ve aged, however, I’ve found that the disappointment that comes after being rebuffed doesn’t last as long as it used to. In one recent instance, after a longtime collaborator rejected a project I was passionate about, the feeling of dejection never even arrived. Instead, the “no” energized me to find someone else who believed in the idea. Since then, I’ve grown curious about why I responded the way I did—and about whether, in this new year, I might be able to reframe how I see rejection entirely: not as a final answer, but as a provocation or an opportunity. Read: A toast to all the …