All posts tagged: Imagining

If The World Feels A Lot Lonelier Lately, You’re Not Imagining It — These 3 Reasons Are Why

If The World Feels A Lot Lonelier Lately, You’re Not Imagining It — These 3 Reasons Are Why

If the world feels a lot lonelier, it’s not in your head. The research proves it: We’re getting lonelier. The American Perspectives Survey found that the number of Americans with no close friends has quadrupled since 1990. Almost half of Americans reported having three or fewer friends.  Add to this, the average number of people Americans feel they can talk to about important matters has also fallen. Americans are feeling lonelier than ever, and three compounding reasons are usually behind the feelings of isolation.  If the world feels a lot lonelier lately, these 3 reasons are why: 1. Loneliness is contagious eldar nurkovic via Shutterstock A 2009 study out of Framingham, Massachusetts, using data collected from roughly 5,000 people and their offspring found that participants are 52 percent more likely to be lonely if someone they’re directly connected to (such as a friend, neighbor, co-worker, or family member) is lonely. People who aren’t lonely tend to then become lonelier if they’re around people who are. Why? Lonely people are less able to pick up on …

You Need to Stop Imagining Gatekeepers and Take Control

You Need to Stop Imagining Gatekeepers and Take Control

January excels at one thing: Making us confront the gap between the lives we want and the actions we never quite take. What many of us miss is that it is rarely external circumstances or other people that block us from changing course. More often, it is us. We stop ourselves before anything has a chance to begin. And who could blame us? Modern life has been engineered as a sequence of filters and gates. Admissions committees decide who belongs and HR screens determine who advances through interviews just like a gaggle of editors and algorithms decide whose voice makes it through to the surface. We are trained early to wait for approval before we move, because without it, little comes to fruition. And when you grow up surrounded by gatekeepers behind you, it is natural to imagine them in front of you too, even when they are no longer there. Subverting that pattern requires confronting something deeply uncomfortable: our own learned helplessness. How we beat ourselves into submission Most transformations do not fail because …