If Trump were really interested in giving the American people what they want, he would livestream himself trying to pronounce the word semiquincentennial. Barring that or another tricky encounter with a set of stairs, it seems unlikely that our 47th commander in chief is up to this task. I’m as shocked as you to find something Trump has failed at, but facts are facts. Perhaps one of his impulses was not entirely off base. A large structure of some sort could be an apt way to mark the US’s 250th—something elegantly designed and unique, something that speaks to both the promise and the contradictions inherent to this fair land. (And no, wise guy, that gold statue of Trump does not count.) A national competition could be held, Vietnam Veterans Memorial–style, to solicit ideas from sea to shining sea, with a panel of experts selecting the best one and officially commissioning its construction. If we start now, we’ll be ready to present America with her 250th gift sometime in, oh, 2035. But while good intentions falling …