In a company I’m familiar with, Betty, a well-regarded veteran employee, didn’t come into work one day and didn’t notify her manager regarding her absence. At the time, Betty’s team was experiencing a seasonal high workload and her absence was felt by all. When her manager called to find out if anything was wrong, Betty answered, sounding very upset. While quietly sobbing, she explained to her manager in a broken voice that her beloved cat had died over the weekend and that she was currently emotionally incapable of returning to work. When Betty did return, a full week later, she was obviously still in much emotional pain, and her performance and productivity were far from their normal high levels.
Betty’s manager never had a pet and found it hard to conceal their frustration with the additional workload Betty’s absence had created. On her return, she was met with awkward silence and quiet dismissal, other than her manager remarking that “well, it was just a cat.”
For millions of people, a pet isn’t “just” anything. Pets are attachment figures, daily companions, sources of routine and emotional regulation. They can fill significant voids in our hearts and research shows that when they die, the loss and grief can be as profound as when a human does, regardless of the type of pet.
What makes it harder is not only the grief itself, but the way workplaces can mishandle it.
Here are the three main things workplaces should avoid, and what they should do instead.
1. Don’t minimize the relationship or the loss
For someone who lived alone, cared for a sick animal for years, or relied on a pet for emotional stability, companionship, warmth and comfort, the loss is devastating.
What to do instead: Acknowledge the grief, provide empathy. One sentence is enough: “I know how much they meant to you. I’m really sorry for your loss.”
2. Don’t assume that one day of mourning is enough
Some organizations allow a vacation day or a sick day for pet loss and consider the issue resolved. The employee returns, and the unspoken expectation is that everything should now be “back to normal.”
The grief over pet loss follows a similar process as the grief over human loss, and can take a while. Concentration drops, sleep is disrupted, energy is low and reminders are everywhere. For many people, the hardest days come after the immediate logistics are over.
What to do instead: Normalize a longer arc. Lighten the load briefly. Reduce high-stakes demands for a few days. Make it clear that not being fully yourself is understandable.
3. Don’t avoid the topic because it feels awkward or silly
Managers often say nothing at all, fearing they’ll say the wrong thing, or to avoid ‘opening something emotional’. The result is an employee who feels unseen, isolated and rejected at the very moment they need basic human empathy, caring and warmth.
What to do instead: Be present: “I heard about your loss, I’m thinking of you. I’m happy to listen If you want to talk.”
Grief that isn’t openly acknowledged or socially supported, often true for pet loss, is called “disenfranchised grief,” and it makes healing much harder. Pet loss doesn’t require a workplace to become a therapy room. It requires something much simpler: acknowledging that employees shouldn’t have to justify their pain to be treated with dignity, care and camaraderie.
When workplaces get this right, they don’t just reduce suffering. They build trust, cohesion and a culture of caring. These, unlike silence and indifference, pay dividends long after the grief has eased.