All posts tagged: estrangement

Harper Beckham left ‘heartbroken and devastated’ by Brooklyn Beckham estrangement ahead of her 15th birthday

Harper Beckham left ‘heartbroken and devastated’ by Brooklyn Beckham estrangement ahead of her 15th birthday

Published by Sam Flores

Harper Beckham’s upcoming 15th birthday has reportedly become another painful reminder of the ongoing rift within the Beckham family. Sources claim the teen’s parents Sir David Beckham and Lady Victoria Beckham fear their daughter will again miss hearing from her estranged eldest brother, Brooklyn Beckham, when she turns 15 on Friday (10.07.26.) Harper is said to have remained close to Brooklyn, 27, before he announced he wanted to become estranged from his family, but it’s believed she has not spoken to him since the dispute escalated last year. According to the Daily Mail, a source said: “Harper is heartbroken and devastated at her brother’s decision not to speak to her and now her birthday is just days away it becomes a difficult scenario once again. “They were so close. Now he won’t speak to her and she can’t understand why. There is nothing worse for Harper than him ignoring her on her birthday. “All she wants is to have a relationship with her big brother. It is so horrifying and awful for David and Victoria …

Mother’s Day and Estrangement: Holding Two Truths at Once

Mother’s Day and Estrangement: Holding Two Truths at Once

Published by Jenni Sidey

Sarah had been low contact with her mother for the past few months and was approaching her first low-contact Mother’s Day. “I mailed a card and scheduled a text message to be sent on Sunday,” she said. “But why do I still feel guilty? Like I should be doing something more?” “What more do you think you could do?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “Anything more just drains me emotionally. It reminds me of all the birthdays and holidays and graduations she ruined. I spent years ignoring those things and turning the other cheek just to save face for the rest of the family. I had to pretend she wasn’t doing those things because I had no one safe to turn to.” “Now, as an adult with my own children, I finally have the safety and strength to recognize what happened. I know I cannot safely spend Mother’s Day with her. I just can’t.” “So I think you have your answer,” I said gently. “I think you have done all that you can …

When Survivors Are Blamed for Family Estrangement

When Survivors Are Blamed for Family Estrangement

Published by Jenni Sidey

Jarelle was in her senior year when she started dating someone outside the family faith. At first, her parents tried to get her to end the relationship, but she refused. She slowly started to draw boundaries with her parents, such as when they could visit and how long they could stay. Over time, they deflected responsibility, blaming everyone but themselves—her partner, her therapist, anyone they believed had “influenced” her. They started distancing themselves and stopped contacting her altogether. When they didn’t visit after the birth of their first grandchild, their absence was noticeable, but it was the response from others that reinforced the pain she felt. At first, people asked Jarelle where her parents were and whether they were planning to visit. The questions were uncomfortable, but they made sense. But once her parents cut her off completely, something changed. Instead of wondering about her parents’ absence, others began questioning Jarelle—what had happened, whether she had tried hard enough, and what she might have done to cause the distance. Jarelle always knew her relationship with …

We’re Witnessing A Massive Surge In Parental Estrangement, And So Many Boomer Parents Still Don’t Get Why

We’re Witnessing A Massive Surge In Parental Estrangement, And So Many Boomer Parents Still Don’t Get Why

Published by Jenni Sidey

It’s no secret that family life has taken a nosedive in the United States in recent years. Not only are people not looking for a spouse and eschewing children, but families are no longer as tight-knit as they once were.  Most families in the United States remember when eating Sunday dinner was a bare minimum for interaction. Today, we’re lucky if we sit down for a meal at all — even with immediate family members like our parents. But that’s not the only thing happening. Throughout the United States, a growing number of people are estranging themselves from their parents. Some simply go no-contact and refuse to speak to them again.  Others go so far as to get legal documentation to sever their ties with their parents — a move often done to shield themselves from financial obligations related to caretaking or burial. Most of the movement to cut ties with parents stems from Millennials and older Gen-Z. It’s a trend that flies in the face of traditional values, an act that would have been …

Women Whose Dads Said These 11 Harsh Things Growing Up Often Don’t Want To Be Around Them As Adults

Women Whose Dads Said These 11 Harsh Things Growing Up Often Don’t Want To Be Around Them As Adults

Published by Jenni Sidey

Losing touch with your own children when they become adults is often among a parent’s biggest fears, especially now that estrangement is becoming more common now compared to generations past. For women whose dads said harsh things when they were growing up, estrangement (partial or total) may feel like the best answer. After all, if someone made you feel bad, you often don’t want to be around them as an adult.  According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, 26% of participants reported being estranged from their fathers, and the average age for that estrangement was 23 years old. While the study doesn’t detail specific reasons why, we can observe the trends, including some of the harsh things dads say to daughers that make women not want to be around them once they’re grown. Women whose dads said these 11 harsh things growing up often don’t want to be around them as adults 1. ‘You’re just being dramatic’ Kamira | Shutterstock Dads who said harsh things to their daughters like, “You’re …

Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation in Family Estrangement

Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation in Family Estrangement

Published by Jenni Sidey

Everyone is talking about family estrangement, and for good reason. More people are reporting that they are choosing estrangement, as a national survey of adults in the United States found that 27% were estranged from at least one family member, which amounts to 67 million people. i Given such a high prevalence, there has been an increased focus on ways to end or prevent family estrangement, but people often misunderstand what estrangement is. Family estrangement is about increasing distance. It’s defined as “the condition of being physically or emotionally distanced from one or more family members, either by choice or at the request or decision of the other.” ii The distance can be complete, such as going “no contact” or “cutting ties,” or it can decrease along a continuum, such as communicating only by text or visiting once a year. Since family estrangement involves increased distance, forgiveness is often not an appropriate intervention. Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation The opposite of estrangement is reconciliation, a reconnection after a period of separation. This reconnect also occurs on …

Parents Whose Grown Kids Pretty Much Hate Them Usually Share These 11 Problematic Traits

Parents Whose Grown Kids Pretty Much Hate Them Usually Share These 11 Problematic Traits

Published by Jenni Sidey

When children grow into adults, they sometimes don’t have a close relationship with their parents. It’s unfortunately, but according to data from a Pillemer survey, nearly 27% of adults report that they’d gone “no contact” with a family member, with 10% admitting it was a parent, which is a nearly 7% increase from research conducted a decade prior.  As this complex discussion of estrangement and childhood trauma continues to grow more mainstream, this trend will likely continue, as adult children set healthy boundaries and acknowledge the traumas they’ve endured. There’s no sole reason for an estrangement, but it usually has to do with a parent’s behavior. As such, parents whose grown kids pretty much hate them usually share certain problematic traits that, once their kids grow up, influence the decision-making of this impactful relationship shift. Parents whose grown kids pretty much hate them usually share these 11 problematic traits 1. They’re closed-minded In The Light Photography | Shutterstock Unable to accept changing societal norms, specifically the ones that prompt difficult conversations in toxic family dynamics, many …

No, Family Estrangement Is Not a “Trend”

No, Family Estrangement Is Not a “Trend”

Published by Jenni Sidey

A podcast episode hosted by Oprah Winfrey last November has, as of today, over five million views. The title of that episode is “Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your Family.” There is something immediately problematic about the titling of this episode: the use of the word “trend,” and the framing by many influencers that family estrangement is like a “fad” or “in vogue.” This framing of something as psychologically wounding as going no contact is not only unhelpful but deeply insulting, and the fact is that it is mainly influencers, not mental health or psychology experts, who are responsible for framing it this way. Certainly, it gets them clicks, likes, listens, and downloads, but it doesn’t do much for those of us who have had to make the painful decision to go no contact. I have been no contact with my parent for a decade. My reasons are mine—they are valid and only I know and fully understand why this was the right decision for me. That decision was arrived …

why families fall out, and how to deal with estrangement

why families fall out, and how to deal with estrangement

Published by Sam Flores

It is tempting to treat the fallout between Brooklyn Beckham and his A-list parents as mere celebrity gossip. But this story has struck a chord with many families because it disrupts a comforting assumption: that strong bonds, shared history and success protect families from fracture. The breakdown of even highly visible, seemingly close families raises an uncomfortable question. Why do family relationships, often our longest lasting and most emotionally charged connections, sometimes become so strained that contact is reduced or cut off entirely? Answering that requires a look at the relational dynamics that shape many families. Family rupture is not an anomaly confined to extreme circumstances or public families under scrutiny. It is part of everyday life for many people. Large population surveys suggest that around one in four adults are estranged from at least one family member at any given point in time. This may involve a parent, sibling, child or other close relative. When research focuses specifically on parent–child relationships, roughly one in ten adults report estrangement from a parent or child, with …

How Estrangement Erodes the Ability to Trust

How Estrangement Erodes the Ability to Trust

Published by Jenni Sidey

Sibling estrangement is not just about not talking to your brother or sister. It has much broader ramifications, as sibling rejection can profoundly shape an individual’s personality and their roles in the family. The estranged may lose the opportunity to be a sibling, in-law, aunt or uncle, and even son or daughter, as estrangement often metastasizes and family members choose sides. These shifting alliances may contribute to greater alienation. Even worse, sibling estrangement disturbs self-esteem, stamps an individual’s understanding of his or her self, and shapes present-day relationships. This is not surprising, given that in childhood, brothers and sisters are our first playmates, instilling in one another fundamental social qualities—tolerance, generosity, loyalty—that eventually affect relationships with friends, colleagues, and lovers. Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, author of Sibling Therapy, has identified this concept as “sibling transference”—old childhood feelings toward a sibling resurfacing in adulthood. “The person may be responding to people in their current life as they did to their siblings way back when,” she writes. “What makes all this so complex is that these behaviors …