All posts tagged: Remarried

Research Says Couples Tend To Fall Into 1 Of These 4 Relationship Types: Which One Are You?

Research Says Couples Tend To Fall Into 1 Of These 4 Relationship Types: Which One Are You?

Published by Jenni Sidey

All relationships aren’t equal, and science has finally found a way to categorize the boundaries, the commitment of your love, and the happiness and rewarding sensations you feel into specific groups for our subjective judging pleasure. In 2016, three relationship scientists (and yes, that’s their actual job, so you know they know what they’re talking about) studied approximately 400 unwed couples in their mid-twenties to determine if there was any definability to determine the outcome for happiness and whether they’d be headed for marriage, and found out that yes, there is.  Based on responses to questions gauging how committed they each felt to one another and how they felt about their significant other, Steven Ogolsky, lead researcher, determined that while there may be many types of people and many types of couples, there are just four specific categories each relationship can fall into. Research says couples tend to fall into 1 of these 4 relationship types: 1. The on-and-off-again couple Also known as the on-again, off-again couples. If you’re this type of couple, you might make …

I Took A Do-Over On My 12-Year Marriage But Not At All For The Reason You’d Think

I Took A Do-Over On My 12-Year Marriage But Not At All For The Reason You’d Think

Published by Jenni Sidey

Going against all marriage advice, I’m taking a do-over on my own marriage after a two-year break. My almost-ex-husband and I are looking for a new place to live, and this time we’re going in with a plan and clearly defined expectations for how our lives together should look. No way could we have done that 12 years ago or even two years ago when I left.  For this marriage to have any chance of making it, it first had to come all the way undone. I met Sam in line for Grateful Dead tickets a few months after I started my first out-of-college reporting job. He was tall and tan and big across the shoulders with brown hair hanging down to his chest. I took a do-over on my marriage, but not for the reason you’d think Gustavo Fring / Pexels Some scenes you see forever in your head: I still see Sam coming down the block. How his arms hung away from his body, not touching his sides when he walked. He had on …

I’ve Never Been Married — But Watching Happy (And Miserable) Couples Taught Me These 9 Marriage Rules

I’ve Never Been Married — But Watching Happy (And Miserable) Couples Taught Me These 9 Marriage Rules

Published by Jenni Sidey

I’ve never been married, but watching both happy and miserable couples taught me a few marriage rules about how to have a happy partnership. You probably disagree and think, “Why the heck would anybody want a relationship prescription from a love doctor who has never said I do?” Fair question. But I’m even less qualified than that. Until recently, I’d never read a relationship self-help book. However, my complete lack of firsthand and textbook knowledge is exactly why you should listen to me. Researchers have suggested “positive marital illusions are a cultural phenomenon,” and I’m unbiased. I haven’t been scarred or jaded by my own marriage(s). The advice I provide comes only from observation. I’ve never been married — but watching happy (and miserable) couples taught me these 9 marriage rules: 1. Invite your partner’s input on your look goodluz via Shuterstock Guys, your bride bought you a new style of jeans and shirts to go with them. She did not do this merely because she grew bored while online shopping for herself. She did …

If You Heard These 5 Phrases All The Time From Your Partner, You May Still Doubt Your Worth Today

If You Heard These 5 Phrases All The Time From Your Partner, You May Still Doubt Your Worth Today

Published by Jenni Sidey

If you heard certain dismissive or emotionally undermining phrases from a partner over and over, it may still be affecting how you see yourself today. A 2021 study that followed over 1,000 couples for five years found that when people perceived their partners as being critical of them, their self-esteem dropped over time. The study showed that this effect worked both ways, meaning that criticism from your partner genuinely damages how you see yourself, and those wounds can stick around long after the words were said. If you heard these five phrases all the time from your partner, you may still doubt your worth today: 1. ‘That dress makes you look a little chubby’ Far and beyond, one of the things that appeared in a lot of the responses was that women felt sensitive and hurt (understandably) when their partners made judgmental comments about their bodies. “I almost hate to say it because it sounds like such a typical North American woman thing to say, but I really do hate when he even hints at me …

3 Simple Habits That Make Marriage Less Annoying Than It Has To Be

3 Simple Habits That Make Marriage Less Annoying Than It Has To Be

Published by Jenni Sidey

Consider these two annoying marriage scenarios: 1. Dave has been married for 10 years. When he is away from his partner and thinks of her, he usually thinks about how she doesn’t help out around the house enough or about recent fights they’ve had. 2. Sarah has been in a relationship for six years. When she is away from her partner and thinks of her, most of the time she thinks fondly about past vacations or other positive (and even neutral) memories. In both of these scenarios, the crucial difference between Dave and Sarah is how positively or negatively they view their partner. Dave is showing signs of what renowned psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman call Negative Sentiment Override, while Sarah appears to be in Positive Sentiment Override. This means that their overarching view of their partner, and ultimately their relationship, is seen through either a positive or a negative lens. Positive Sentiment Override (PSO) or the Positive Perspective is something that couples can work on every day. Having a Positive Perspective of your …

5 Ways Couples Who Actually Like Each Other Behave Differently From People Who Are Only Pretending

5 Ways Couples Who Actually Like Each Other Behave Differently From People Who Are Only Pretending

Published by Jenni Sidey

In his book The Intentional Family, Bill Dougherty discusses “rituals of connection” as an important tool for successful relationships of couples who genuinely like each other. A ritual of connection is a way of regularly turning towards your partner that can be counted on. Erica and Rob, both in their late forties, have been happily married for ten years and are raising three children. When I asked Rob about the rituals in their marriage, he reflected: “We hug every day when I get home because physical touch is one of my Love Languages. Erica is not as affectionate as I am, but she’s up for it because she knows how important it is to me.” Couples with relationships rich in rituals and traditions can create shared meaning, the top level of the Sound Relationship House. Daily rituals shape our lives in positive ways. In The Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg explains that habits are crucial to success in all realms of our lives. Overall, they make us more productive and healthier. In a relationship, Dr. Gottman calls …

6 Signs You Have A Genuinely Good Soul Even If Nobody’s Told You Lately

6 Signs You Have A Genuinely Good Soul Even If Nobody’s Told You Lately

Published by Jenni Sidey

Move over, housewives. In our reality, drama is kept at a minimum, and friendships are, well, friendly. Let’s hear it for the people who not only support but also lead, inspire, and respect one another. Humans with genuinely good souls see a world that is trying to pit them against each other, and they become friends instead. Here are six signs you have a genuinely good soul, even if nobody’s told you lately: 1. You’re genuinely happy when good things happen to other people Christina Morillo / Pexels Whether it’s a dream job, a ring from a gorgeous guy, a fab fit body they literally worked their tush off for, or a killer personality, someone else’s joy is your joy. You don’t understand the “hating” mentality, as you know, there is plenty to go around, and when good fortune pays a visit, and hard work pays off, you’re the first ones to raise a glass. RELATED: The Art Of Doing What You Can: 3 Simple Ways To Take Care Of Yourself When You’re Just Spent 2. …