When we feel anxious or overwhelmed, our first instinct is usually to try to think our way out of it. We analyze our problems, we ruminate endlessly, and we try to logic our way back to peace. But modern neuroscience has discovered a profound truth: You cannot think your way out of an anxious ego. You have to look your way out of it.
I have experienced this firsthand. I recall one of the toughest times in my life when the person I thought I was going to spend my life with decided to leave. Everything had seemed to be going so well, and I was looking forward to the future. Suddenly, the future I had planned was gone, and it felt truly hopeless. I could not sleep, and I could not figure my way out of the pain.
But in those early morning hours, something shifted. A profound realization came over me—a deep sense of connection to the Universe—and it showed me that I was going to be okay. I did not know how, but I knew it was true, and I knew everything was going to work out beautifully. Even though nothing in my external world had changed, my heart changed. My fears and anxieties completely vanished because I simply trusted that all would be well. And that is exactly what happened.
The Mental Cage of the “Me Center”
That early morning experience was not just a fleeting poetic emotion; awe is a powerful biological reset button. It deactivates the anxious part of our brain and connects us to the vastness of the universe.
To understand how this works, we have to look at the neuroscience of what we might call the “me center.” We all possess a crucial part of the brain called the Default Mode Network, or DMN. The DMN is the region responsible for our ego, our autobiographical memories, and our constant internal monologue.
When we are worried about our to-do lists, criticizing ourselves, or stressing about our future, our DMN is highly active. When it becomes overactive, we experience depression, anxiety, and rumination. It becomes a mental cage.
The Awe Switch
Fortunately, we also have an “awe switch.”
Groundbreaking research by scientist Dr. Dacher Keltner at UC Berkeley has revealed something incredible. He found that when humans experience awe—such as looking at the Milky Way, standing before a massive redwood tree, or listening to a sweeping symphony—the DMN is neurologically deactivated. Your brain literally stops thinking about “me.”
I experienced this deeply while backpacking for a week in the High Sierras. One night, after my companions had gone to bed, I walked far away from the campsite and looked up at the beautiful night sky. My mind had been active, thinking about life and enjoying the trip, but as I stood there staring at the stars, something shifted. I felt as though I left my body and literally started flying through the universe.
My little body and my little ego were still standing on the ground, but for a while, I felt almost at one with the entire universe. It was one of the most awe-inspiring experiences I have ever had. In comparison to the vastness and beauty of the cosmos, my little self with all its life concerns and worries felt incredibly insignificant.
The Healing Paradox of Shrinking
This brings us to the paradox of shrinking.
In Western culture, we are heavily conditioned to make ourselves as big and as important as possible. As a clinical psychologist, I see this all the time in my practice. We constantly ask ourselves: Am I good enough? Am I doing things that are important enough? Am I going to make a difference in the lives of the people around me?
But what happens when we let all of that go? There is a profound healing relief. Feeling small is not demeaning; it is the ultimate relief. When we step outside and realize that the universe is unfathomably vast and ancient, the heavy burden of our daily stress suddenly lifts.
The next time you feel trapped in the mental cage of anxiety, stop trying to logic your way out of it. Step outside, look up, and let the vastness of the universe hit the reset button on your soul.